They'll Never Have to Know
by SakuraNights01
Summary: Ichimatsu is asked to look after his brothers for the evening while their parents are out. He despised every second of it... or so he claims.
1. Chapter 1

Ichimatsu had just finished his daily cat feeding routine, and earlier than normal, at that. He gave a rub behind the ears to the small brown tabby cat next to him, causing several other cats to mew for attention as well, to which he gladly obliged. Pleased that he was able to take care of everyone, he picked himself up off the ground and began heading home at his usual languid pace.

It wasn't until he got home that he decided, in hindsight, that perhaps he should've taken the long way back, or spent more time with his feline friends.

Arriving home, Ichimatsu quietly announced his presence, kicking his shoes off haphazardly by the door. The house was near-silent, indicating that the rest of his brothers weren't home yet. Some sounds were heard from the kitchen area before his mother peeked her head out at him.

"Oh, Ichimatsu, welcome home! Will you come here? I have a favor to ask of you," Matsuyo smiled at him before disappearing back into the kitchen. Ichimatsu quirked an eyebrow at her, but still padded his way over. He stepped through the threshold and noticed hers and his father's bags on the counter, being packed with a few odds and ends. Were they going out for the evening?

"Your father and I will be back tomorrow morning." Ah, so he was right. "So, I'd like for you to take care of your brothers while we're away."

"...Me? Isn't this something you'd normally ask Osomatsu?" Ichimatsu asked hesitantly, suddenly wary.

"Well, yes, but he isn't here at the moment. And, though he _is_ the oldest, I know he can be a little… irresponsible, sometimes," Matsuyo sighed, and Ichimatsu was inclined to agree.

"What about Choromatsu, then?"

"He also isn't here right now. None of your brothers are."

So that was it. He was just the first one home, huh? She probably wouldn't have even thought to ask him if-

"But I'm asking you specifically, Ichimatsu. You might not think so, but you are very responsible when you put your mind to it. I've seen how you care for the kitties around town every day."

Ichimatsu shrank a little - he had hoped she didn't know, but at the same time, she didn't seem to be upset about it….

"It can be tough to take care of yourself sometimes when you get wrapped up in something. Don't think I hadn't noticed the times you or another one of you boys skipped a meal because you were too busy!" Matsuyo scolded lightly for a moment, but smiled sweetly when he silently asked for an explanation. "Just care for your brothers for the evening, and please be kind and patient with them. I think - no, I _know_ you can do this."

The distinct feeling of dread welled up in the pit of his stomach as he contemplated the difficulty of her request. It wasn't exactly easy for him to be patient or nice to people, let alone take care of his five idiot demon brothers. Matsuyo seemed to notice his uneasiness, and took his hand gently.

"Won't you do this for mommy? I would appreciate it so much," she smiled again when his eyes softened slightly at her words. "Promise me you'll try?"

He looked away briefly, weighing her words with the daunting night ahead of him, before meeting her eyes again.

"...Yes, Mom."

Ichimatsu gratefully accepted a hug and a kiss on the forehead, then saw his mother and father off shortly afterwards. Once the house was silent again, he let out an exasperated sigh.

What the hell was he supposed to do now? Take care of his brothers? They were all grown men, for crying out loud! Had anyone else asked him to do it, he would have scoffed and gladly told them to go jump off a cliff. Hell, he'd help them do so! But it was his dear mother who had made the request, and he wanted very much to make her happy - not that he'd admit it, of course.

So what exactly did he need to do? He remembered that she had mentioned something about them missing meals sometimes, and his face twisted with disdain. What, did she want him to feed them with a spoon?

That train of thought immediately screeched to a halt as it hit him that it was late afternoon - almost evening - meaning it was probably a good time to start dinner (hey, it was a place to start, right?). It wasn't like they could heckle Chibita for free food, since the last time they'd been to the oden stand, Chibita had somehow very nearly caught them (where did that motor scooter even come from?), so they most likely wouldn't be going back there for a while. Ichimatsu was no cook by any means, but they would just have to deal with it. He _did_ promise mom, after all.

Eventually, he found a few packs of instant ramen, and opted to cook them all in one pot instead of several different ones. Throwing in a few somewhat messily diced green onions and hard-boiled eggs for good measure, he almost felt... confident? Maybe he should try cooking more often… he could probably make some better food for the cats someday, after all.

The ramen was just about done when, as if right on cue, Ichimatsu heard the front door slam open and ten shoes fly off, five voices speaking loudly all at once in what sounded like several different conversations.

Well, there went the blissful silence, and with it, his peaceful mood.

"Hey, Mom! What's for - oh, Ichimatsu? ...You made dinner?" Osomatsu had made a beeline to the kitchen, and was understandably surprised when it was his third younger brother's deadpan stare that greeted him instead of Matsuyo's sweet face.

"...Mom and Dad won't be back until tomorrow, so I was asked to…" Ichimatsu trailed off in an indiscernible mumble, and Osomatsu strained to hear him.

"Huh? Speak up, I can't hear you!"

"...I said…" More quiet mumbling ensued, paired with a growing blush.

"Whaaat?"

"I _said_ , I was asked to take care of you guys! Now shut up and eat!" Ichimatsu shouted furiously, then regretted it instantly when he noticed his other brothers curiously peeking in behind Osomatsu. That, and the mischievous grin creeping up on the oldest's face.

"Is that so...?" Osomatsu snickered.

Ichimatsu blanched once he realized the potentially hellish consequences of his words.

However, dinner proceeded uneventfully (or as uneventfully as it could in this house), to his amazement. But the tranquility, of course, was not to last. Each brother had wanted to spend time with him, much to his utter dismay, and whenever he felt like declining, he was reminded of his promise to his mother.

Gods be damned, this was going to be a long night.

* * *

After dinner, Jyushimatsu practically dragged him outside to play baseball for about an hour - and while he normally didn't have a problem with this, the fact that Osomatsu kept whining that no one would "be home to take care of them" made him loathe to do anything other than curl up in a corner somewhere and just die.

Most of his tosses were pretty abysmal due to his foul mood (though his younger brother seemed to enjoy running after the stray ones), but at the end of the session, he pitched one perfect throw, and the ball was promptly nailed out of the park.

" _HOOOOME RUUUN!_ " Jyushimatsu sprinted over, lifted him off the ground, and spun him around while cheering and laughing excitedly, garnering the attention of other passers-by, but Ichimatsu paid them no mind. As Jyushimatsu whipped him through the air, the tiniest of smiles betrayed his attempt to appear indifferent. He was already feeling a little better, proud even, since their game had ended on such a high note.

He wouldn't bother to mention this, though.

* * *

Once they got back, Todomatsu pulled him aside and used him to model some clothes, surprisingly. He assumed that Totty wouldn't have wanted his outfits to be sullied by the likes of him, but his youngest brother pointed out that it was okay since these outfits were older, and if they looked good on him, he'd even let him keep them (finishing the sentence with an innocent wink that made Ichimatsu want to throw up).

The dress-up session took way longer than Ichimatsu would have liked, and several times he almost pushed Todomatsu away, what with all of his fussing over perfection and cuteness, but remembered that he needed to have patience with his brothers. God-given patience, at that. By the end of the session, he'd found that some of the outfits had had way too many frills or unnecessary bits of clothing that made them uncomfortable. Yet somehow, there _were_ at least one or two pieces that had felt moderately okay on him, and even kind of _looked_ good on him.

Not that he'd ever say it out loud, of course.

* * *

Choromatsu had apparently decided that now was the perfect time to educate his immediate younger brother on idols, particularly Nyaa-chan. She had a cat theme, obviously, which Choromatsu had used as his argument to convince Ichimatsu that she wasn't bad (or rather that she was so good, he would regret ever doubting him).

They both sat in the bedroom, listening to her songs on the CD player and flipping through idol magazines. The older brother gushed on and on about her latest songs, what outfit she had worn at her last concert, where she was going to play next, and so on. Ichimatsu only paid half-attention to what was being said, but found that not all of her music was that bad, even finding a song that would most certainly get stuck in his head later.

Smartly, he chose not to say a word to his brother about this.

* * *

If he hadn't promised his mother he'd be kind, he would definitely have _NOT_ agreed to sit out on the rooftop with Karamatsu to sing and play guitar with him. The urge to shove Karamatsu off to end his own misery was unbearable, but the mantra he repeated to himself - "I made a promise to Mom" - kept him going strong. His older brother encouraged him to sing along, and played and sang louder, as though that would be enough to convince him to do so. Embarrassed, he buried his head in his arms, knees drawn up to his chest.

For a while, his painful older brother kept playing, but seemed to take notice of his discomfort (as it seemed a lot of people had been doing today), and eventually stopped playing. Suddenly, he felt Karamatsu take his hands and place the neck of the guitar in them. His head snapped up in confusion, and his brother merely grinned at him in response, silently urging him to give it a try. On any other day, Karamatsu knew it would've been a poor decision, and that Ichimatsu might just turn around and smash the guitar into a million pieces - whether it would be on Karamatsu's head or not would be up to the Fates to decide - but today, he felt a little more bold, knowing about the deal the younger brother had made with their darling mommy.

Ichimatsu stared at the instrument in his hands for a minute or two, wondering where to even begin with this thing. He'd, unfortunately, seen the older brother play it many times, so he placed his hands where he remembered they should go. One careless swipe at the guitar strings, however, created a rather merciless screeching from the instrument, the likes of which they'd never heard from an acoustic guitar before, leaving them reeling with discomfort.

"Try again, more gently this time," Karamatsu spoke quietly, taking his left hand in his own and positioning them on a chord. Ichimatsu frowned, noting Karamatsu was being less painful right now, probably to not scare him away. But he still had to fight off the urge to attack him. Strumming with a little less force now produced a sweet, warm sound, and Karamatsu guided his fingers to another chord, beckoning him to keep going. This went on for a while, before Ichimatsu realized that his hand had been released some time ago and he had been playing the chords on his own. When he looked up to Karamatsu again, he was taken aback as he was met with a river of proud tears and an elated, awestruck smile.

"My _buraza_ , that was _BEAUTIFUL_!"

Ichimatsu gagged a little and pushed himself as far away from him as the rooftop would allow, forcing down the overwhelming instinct to knock the painful man out right there and then. He shoved the guitar away and hastily folded into himself again.

"Don't touch me again, Shittymatsu!"

" _Heh_."

Karamatsu, unfazed by his words as usual, took the guitar back into his own hands and began to play a softer, more quiet tune. Admittedly, playing an instrument proved to be a more difficult than it looked. His fingertips felt a little raw, and yet his older brother played it so easily. Ichimatsu almost felt envious, but the fact that even someone like him was able to play even a few chords of a random, made-up song was actually pretty... cool.

That was a thought Ichimatsu swore he would take to his grave.

* * *

"C'mooon, you never play with me! This is the perfect opportunity!" Osomatsu complained to a reluctant Ichimatsu. By this time, night had just settled upon them, marking it as the perfect hour for a quick trip to Pachinko Dragon. The eldest was eager to head inside and start gambling away what little money he had, but Ichimatsu stood unmoving just outside the entrance, hesitation marring his normally blasé expression.

It wasn't that he didn't know _how_ to play pachinko, he just wasn't very _good_ at it, and lost both his money and his temper all too often. And those few instances where he did win were pyrrhic for his wallet, so he usually opted to avoid the game entirely.

"Oh, I get it. You'd hang out with the others all day long if you could, but the MINUTE the oldest wants to spend some time with you…" his rant dissolved into incoherent mutterings to himself. Ichimatsu rolled his eyes. Dramatic as always. What on Earth had he done to deserve such a gigantic manchild for an older brother?

He grabbed his wallet out of his hoodie pocket and pulled out two 1000 yen bills.

"Will you shut your mouth if I give this to you?" he said, waving the money carelessly in front of him. Osomatsu quickly snatched it from his hand, a wide grin on his face, and stuffed it into his own pocket.

"I knew you were such an understanding little brother! But don't think that'll be enough to get you out of playing with me! Mom said you needed to take care of us, right? So who's to say I won't get myself into trouble all by myself in there?" He wagged a finger in Ichimatsu's face, receiving a small growl in response. He _supposed_ Osomatsu had a point - Mom really would be upset if he left Osomatsu on his own and he somehow ended up in another fight, as they had come to expect from him.

"...Let's just get this over with." Ichimatsu finally relented, walking past his brother into the dreaded pachinko parlor, the older happily skipping in behind him.

Unintentionally, they ended up staying at Pachinko Dragon for about 3 hours, only bailing out after Osomatsu had gone all in, yet won nothing. On the other hand, Ichimatsu was pleased to find that luck was on his side today, considering the small fortune he had somehow managed to win. Naturally, the older brother complained and begged him to share some of his winnings, but his pleas fell on deaf ears.

Ichimatsu decided that, even if he hadn't won anything (or especially since he did), the experience had been quite enjoyable, and wouldn't mind giving it another try sometime.

His oldest brother would definitely never hear about this.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time Osomatsu and Ichimatsu made it back home, it was time for them to all gather up their toiletries and head to the bath house. It would've been a nice way to relax after such a long day, but his brothers were as rowdy and obnoxious as ever. From Osomatsu asking for a back rub, to Jyushimatsu challenging him to a butterfly stroke race in the giant bath, as well as various other requests in between, Ichimatsu found himself even more exhausted by the time they got home. He was supposed to be their babysitter (apparently), not their slave! How did he even let himself get roped into this?

Sleep sounded like an absolute blessing at this point, so he was more than happy to roll out the futon (of course they made him do it tonight) and collapse onto his spot under the cover. He felt the rest of his brothers join in, but when the presence of darkness didn't appear right away, he anxiously hoped no one would say anything, and maybe they were just waiting for Choromatsu to turn off the light.

"Hey, Ichimatsu?" To his chagrin, all hope for rest went flying out the window when he heard Todomatsu's quiet voice break the silence.

"...What?"

"Can… can you tell us a story?"

"STORY! STORY!" Jyushimatsu agreed cheerfully, loudly, and the others piped up enthusiastically.

Ohh, he could kill somebody right now. Karamatsu was the closest one at this moment, and it was _SO_ tempting, but he had to hold out for Mom's sake (though his mantra had been slowly losing effect all day long). He sat up and returned their expectant stares with a dangerous glare of his own.

"...Once upon a time… there were five little _shits_ that wouldn't go to sleep, until the sixth little shit threatened to smother them all to death if they didn't. Then they all lived happily ever after. _THE. END._ " In one swift motion, he reached up and shut the light off, before tossing himself back onto the futon.

"...Geez, if you wanted to sleep so badly, you could've just said so…" he heard Choromatsu mutter quietly.

Ichimatsu grabbed the pillow from under his own head and pressed his face into it as hard as he could. He wanted to scream, or let the sweet embrace of death take him already, whichever came first.

He guessed he must've fallen asleep at some point because when he opened his eyes next, it was morning. Or late morning, by the looks of it. And his pillow had been tucked neatly back under his head. He didn't remember doing that, and was slightly alarmed to think that someone must've moved it for him. He turned his head to find the culprit, but was surprised again when he found the futon empty. The home was peaceful, so his brothers must've left to their own devices. Thank Akatsuka, because he could use a day off or two after the hell he went through yesterday. Tiredly, he pulled himself out of bed and made his way to the kitchen, only to find that breakfast was already waiting for him there.

"Oh, there you are, Ichimatsu! Good morning!" Matsuyo stepped into the kitchen and greeted him kindly.

"Morning, Mom," Ichimatsu returned the greeting quietly, taking his plate to the dining room.

"If you're wondering, your brothers left a little while ago. They all seemed to be in a bit of a hurry…"

"I wasn't wondering, but fine."

Truthfully, he _had_ been curious as to his brothers' whereabouts. It felt strange eating alone, but he did so without another word on the matter.

"Oh! I nearly forgot! Here," Matsuyo handed him a small wad of bills. Payment for his troubles, it seemed. Not that payment _wasn't_ nice and appreciated, but he probably wouldn't be doing this again anytime soon. Or ever, for that matter.

"I hope they weren't too hard on you, dear. I know taking responsibility couldn't have been easy, but I really appreciate your hard work. Thank you."

Ichimatsu ate silently and considered the events of yesterday. Sure, it was like living a nightmare, a walk through the infernos of Hell, but…

"...It… wasn't so bad." He didn't bother trying to hide the small smile that graced his features, but once again said nothing more.

"That's good!" Matsuyo chirped as she began to tidy up the kitchen. "So, are you going to visit your kitties again today?"

"Of course. They need to eat too."

"So thoughtful, my little Ichimatsu! But take your time. You had a long day yesterday."

Had he been paying attention, Ichimatsu might've noticed the secretive wink his mother gave towards the slight crack in the doorway.

"Ha! Act indifferent all you want, but we know you had fun yesterday," someone spoke in a loud whisper as the door slid shut.

"Osomatsu nii-san, be quiet! Do you want to blow our cover?" Todomatsu reprimanded, though he also tried to keep his voice down.

"Whatever, I know. Hey, you've got the stuff, right?" Osomatsu pointed at Karamatsu.

" _Heh_ … right here and prepared, _buraza_!"

"Great, just don't… taint it or something," the older waved him off casually and headed outside, the rest of the brothers shuffling after him trying to make the least amount of noise as possible.

"The area is really big, so I suggest we split up to cover more ground," Choromatsu spoke up thoughtfully, scrutinizing a map with great interest.

"True, but we _do_ only have one bag, so I'm not sure how that would work out," Todomatsu gestured to Jyushimatsu, who had the honor of carrying the oversized bag of cat food.

"When Ichimatsu nii-san joins us later, it'll make it faster and easier!" the fifth brother cheered, nearly dropping the bag. Karamatsu rushed to stabilize it before shooting him an exasperated look.

"Anyways, we _did_ pretty much drag him around everywhere… he did everything we wanted to do, so it's only fair that we should do something he wants to do now, right? And we can start by feeding all the cats in the city!" Osomatsu shouted enthusiastically, the others following suit with an equal amount of charisma and renewed vigor.

Needless to say, Ichimatsu was rather shocked when he went out to do his rounds and discovered his brothers hunched down in his familiar alleys, feeding his precious stray cat friends. Unbeknownst to him, they were well-aware of how much he had enjoyed spending time with them.

And most certainly, Ichimatsu would never have to know.

* * *

 **And that's a wrap! Longest fanfic I've written so far, but I had so much fun doing it! Thanks to Sir-Herp for editing the ever-loving crap out of this piece! X)**


End file.
